If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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i like it in the mouth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops