WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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