Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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