Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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