A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -48

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -62

american idol

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops