My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops