Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops