Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops