9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

thumb_up thumb_down -6

q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops