Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

thumb_up thumb_down +5

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops