How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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deez nuts

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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