What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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guess what what ...

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Roses are red Im adopted

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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