Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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