I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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