- Anti Joke

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

So a bar walks into a man...

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

women's rights.

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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