What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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