Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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BIG PENIS

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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I won the game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops