Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Hello

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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