What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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jgkbk,mn

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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Oliver's friends

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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