What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops