You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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BIG PENIS

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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