What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Bob Saget that is all

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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