Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops