Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops