Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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I'm Coming

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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