What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Yes

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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I? Everett

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Your adopted.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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