Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops