Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats white and sticky? a white stick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops