Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops