Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...