whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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