Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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