how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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Homo say what?

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops