Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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I'm Coming

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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