A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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guess what? bannanas

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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How High is a Chinese man

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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