Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops