Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Yes

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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