Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...