Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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A young baby died.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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