Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops