A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops