Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops