Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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