Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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