what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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kathryn atkins

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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One, two, three, four and five

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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