A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

Chuck Norris.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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