what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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