What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...