Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Jesus Christ

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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