If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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A storm be brewin!

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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