Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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