Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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