A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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sky silverstein

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Hello

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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