- Anti Joke

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.