Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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